“Openness to the past is the way through grief, which, in turn, is the process of letting go of things that we were once attached to. This letting go allows us to be open to the present. In short, loss opens the door to new life.” -Henry Cloud
To be honest, I didn’t truly understand the importance of the grieving process until about two years ago. But I get it. Now I really get it. Grief isn’t just about death. Grief is about loss of any kind. Grief is about creating space for the new.
It is ok — edit: it is necessary — to feel denial and sadness and bargaining and anger and acceptance if you want to truly move forward. The grief will come in waves. Sometimes all the stages will come in the same day. Some days one stage is all you will feel. And when you think you have mastered one stage of grief, you will feel it again. And that is “normal” when you are grieving. Just don’t get stuck.
Keep moving forward. Keep grasping to find your breath. Keep feeling. Keep aiming to keep your head above the crashing waves. Keep on.
One minute at time. That’s all you have to do. One. Minute. At. A. Time.
And when you feel like you cannot do one more minute of your grief: Cry on someone else’s shoulders. Go to the gym or a kickboxing class. Grab the remote & zone out for a bit. Yell at God. Cry out to God. Go eat a pizza with friends…or don’t eat if you don’t feel like it. Facetime with your nephews & nieces.
And then do it all again. Cause grief isn’t a one time around rodeo. It is a journey.
I can say I understand grief now. I don’t have it all figured out but here is what I know. It is tough. It is ugly. It is also healing. And it is beautiful. It is the death of what was. And it is the beginning of new life.
Grief can transform a heart. For good. And that is what I intended to allow to happen with my heart. And I can see the fruit of that intention today.
So, friend, if you are in a season of grieving, grieve. Let go. One minute at a time. It is a door to new life.