In the height of my fill in the blank moment, I saw a picture that I hated when I first saw it. The picture showed a pencil in three different states. The first pencil represented “yesterday” with a whole, sharpened pencil. The second pencil represented “today” with a broken, splintered pencil. And the third pencil represented “tomorrow” with two shorter yet sharpened pencils. The pencils clearly represented states of life in which we can find ourselves. That particular day I wanted to be nothing other than pencil number one. And on that particular day I was pencil number two.
All I could think was “Who wants to try to write with a broken pencil?” Not me. Nope. At least not by choice. Give me my whole pencil back, please. And NOW! The prior few months had been broken and splintered and my pencil (aka life) didn’t seem to have the ability to be used. I wanted my whole, sharpened pencil back. And it didn’t happen.
What I know, what I have learned since then and am continuing to learn is if, in the midst of my broken and splintered state, I allow God to teach me, grow me and restore me, there is a gift in my broken pencil. I don’t have just one writing instrument anymore. I now have two. Two! God saw fit to give me two pencils. A gift ~~ although the method of delivery didn’t feel like a gift.
On the same day I saw that picture, I also had a passage placed across my reading path. And since I don’t believe in coincidences, I knew God was speaking to me loud and clear. In the words of my “friend” Lysa Terkeurst who was walking a few steps ahead of me in a similar journey shared: “We see an end. God sees the same circumstances as fertilizer for the new to begin. God speaks. Dead dreams come to life. For me. For you. For real.”
So I am here to tell you, friend, God CAN restore what is broken – whether it was done to us; it was our own doing; or a combination of both. The Cross was not pretty. But what it represents is beautiful. It’s why we can ask for forgiveness, offer forgiveness and then use the two pencils now in our hands.
Those two pencils brought me to where I am today. They brought me to Grounded in Moxie. They brought me to an understanding that a bouquet of pencils that have been broken and restored are often the most gorgeous bouquets. They remind me that the broken are beautiful and useful. And though my life is far from perfect or ideal, all I can see is beautiful.
And I am partial to (broken and restored) pencil number three.